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Bliss every day
April 19, 2011 - Serra Muscatello
NEW ULM — Australian Author Deborah Fairfull has written an interesting book called “Bliss Every Day ... A practical guide to find peace and happiness.”
In her book, Fairfull guides people into rediscovering their sense of peace and happiness by working on understanding their inner world. A couple of weeks ago I was very fortunate to have a telephone interview with Fairfull to talk about her book.
Not only was I impressed by her knowledge of what she has written about so beautifully, but also by her compassion for what we as people go through in life.
Fairfull encourages us to “feel our feelings” as we look at chapter three in her book.
“I think it’s one of the hardest things for people to do (feel our feelings) because in a way we’re conditioned out of doing that when we’re young quite often,” said Fairfull, “So people are told ... not to feel ... not to feel sad or bad or angry, particularly. People will disconnect from their emotions.”
She said people often stop feeling their feelings when painful things happen to them or also following a trauma. When something triggers those emotions, and if you have the awareness, it’s good just to be able to sit with those feelings and allow yourself feel them and “process” them, said Fairfull. But it takes “courage” to process your emotions and deal with painful feelings, she said.
“If you’re able to process those emotions and let them flow ... your body will just return to a natural state of wellness because that’s our natural state.” Emotions should flow freely through the body, you feel them and then let them go, said Fairfull.
“It’s like flowing with life instead of resisting it,” said Fairfull. “Depression is among the leading causes of disability worldwide, and occurs in persons of all genders, ages and backgrounds,” (according to the World Health Organization).
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health problem in the United States. When someone has an anxiety disorder it will often co-occur with depressive disorders, eating disorders or substance abuse.
"We become depressed often when we feel overwhelmed or the feelings are just too much," said Fairfull, "Sometimes it's some old feelings coming up to be processed but it's too much for us to process so we just kind of block it and we don't feel anything. It's kind of like you put a block between your head and your heart so you can't feel."
For ongoing health and well-being it's important that you are in tune with what's going on in your body, she said. Everyone has the ability to discover an understanding of their unconscious patterns in life. Many people cannot afford therapy on an ongoing basis, Fairfull said. It's also good for us to gain mastery over our own emotions so we can learn to process them in a healthy way, she added.
"It is a natural process," said Fairfull, "But we've in many cases we've just lost the ability to be able do it. That's why I wrote the book so people could have more awareness around their inner world and … start to process those emotions in a healthy way to free up energy in the body." She feels we you find yourself in "challenging times" it is telling you that something needs to be changed.
"It takes a bit of courage to look at yourself … and a willingness to be really honest and not to blame," said Fairfull, "It's very common that when things are difficult or challenging that we blame other people."
We need to study our emotions and what they mean to us. This becomes a powerful process, Fairfull said.
"You gain control over your life and emotions rather than constantly blaming other people," she said, "You'll find that if you don't develop the awareness … you'll find yourself in the same situation again and again and again … until you get the lesson."
She advises people that they can make peace with their past by "understanding yourself and developing compassion for yourself." Fairfull believes that people are doing the best they can with the skills that they have.
"People would not hurt you consciously," said Fairfull, "If people are conscious they are in a natural, loving state. People hurt others out of their unconscious behavioral patterns."
So to forgive people or to make peace with the past it is really about validating your own feelings first and then it's easier to be more objective and have some understanding and compassion for them, Fairfull said.
Fairfull first experienced a state of "bliss" following a seminar. "I was just there for the information really," said Fairfull, "Then I had a spontaneous awakening where I did feel that bliss and love for three days. That gave me the unshakeable experience that it is possible … but it didn't last."
She went on to discover what would create that experience for people on a more permanent basis.
"I have a lot of hope for us (as a human race)," said Fairfull, "I feel that it's possible with awareness to certainly work more and more towards that state (of bliss) and also be able to pass that down to our generations (in the future)."
It is possible to feel relaxed, loving and blissful on a more permanent basis, she said.
"It is possible but we do have to set out the intent and then we have to have that bit of courage and honesty to look at things as they are really happening in our internal world," said Fairfull.
In chapter one of her book, Fairfull encourages us to tune in to our bodies.
"Life is our best teacher," she said, "Whatever life presents us in the moment is where we are meant to be… If you want to have a joyful life — you have to focus on what makes you joyful."
Fairfull closed by saying that when challenging or difficult things happen to us we often take it on and think it reflects something negative about ourselves.
"I would just encourage people to always believe in yourself despite the challenges," said Fairfull, "Always believe that you are a good person and even if things have been really challenging or difficult or you carry a lot of guilt … you can always have a fresh slate starting from now. Really believe in yourself despite what has happened to you is really important I feel. At your core you're always that divine, loving person. So it's being able to tap into that and let that be the energy that drives your life rather than the conditioning or fear that makes us think we're not worthy or good enough because we all are. I think hope is really important if we are to evolve to the next level."
If you would like to buy this book please go to amazon.com to purchase a copy.
Deborah Fairfull lives in Sydney, Australia and has been both a student and teacher of psychology and philosophy for over 20 years. She has studied design, human resources, counseling and psychotherapy and kinesiology. She has founded and sold two successful businesses. She also is a winner of the ACT (Australian Capital Territory) Business Woman of the Year award and the ACT Chief Minister's Award for Innovation.
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