Editor's note: Kerry Hoffman is on vacation. This column was run previously in The Journal.
Well, Joey and I are globe-trotters for the next week.
Notice I spelled globe-trotters with the first being small. If we were actual Globe Trotters, I don't think I would be writing this column.
No, Joey and I are off on excursion with group from school. We are leaving our mark on he soils of England, Wales and Ireland.
Yes, we have been to England and Wales already, but we haven't crossed the big water to visit Ireland.
We are traveling as part of a group through Cathedral High School.
No, I am not a chaperone.
Most of the time I really stink at being referred to as a chaperone; I just don't have the "maturity" to be very effective at it.
One time, while I was supervising a group of young kids, I observed one young boy trying to shoot a rubber band.
Well, he was having a heck of a time figuring out how to stretch the band far enough to get it to go further than dropping right in front of his feet.
I could tell he was getting frustrated.
I walked over to him with a smile. At first he looked at me like he thought I was going to give him a talking to.
As soon as I said, "It looks to me like you need some help with shooting that rubber band," he realized he wasn't going to get sent to the principal's office.
I proceeded to show him how to wrap the rubber band from the tip of his pointer finger, across the back of his hand and back across his palm so he could hold it with his pinky finger.
Just at that moment, a teacher walked by.
It wasn't the little boy that caught heck, it was me.
"Kerry, Kerry, Kerry," was all I heard.
I supposed it wouldn't have done much good to send me to the principal's office. I probably would have taught him or her how to get pencils to stick into the ceiling.
Really, that is one trick I never did. I was afraid to try.
Another time I snuck my dog into Wednesday night CCD classes. I got caught at that as well.
It's probably a good thing that I am not getting this in the paper until we have been in London for a few days. Gee, I hope they don't read The Journal On-line.
It's probably best if my roommate, which happens to be my sister-in-law Bev, doesn't read about my shenanigans before we get there. She's a pretty straight-laced person. Who knows, maybe one evening we'll get bored and she may want to learn how to shoot rubber bands. I have to add them to my packing list.
Even though we are seasoned travelers when it comes to this area of the world, we are scheduled to do a few different things. First, Joey and I are going to the theatre. We both wanted to go see "Les Miserables." Cannot wait for that. I love going to the theatre. Maybe this will get Joey interested in going more often.
Of course, being the person that I am, I have to kiss the blarney stone. Supposedly, any person who kisses the stone is granted the gift of gab and eloquence. but maybe my writing will take up some sort of articulacy. I think it's already working! Maybe not?
If my plans go as I hope, I will have next week's column direct from Ireland. I will do my best to accomplish this.
For questions, or comments, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.