Dear Annie: I have mobility issues and use a walker, so I’m mostly confined to my home. My son helps by taking me to the beauty salon and occasionally to the bank or pharmacy, but I spend most of my time at home.

Today, two ladies showed up at my door unexpectedly. I hadn’t been up long and wasn’t dressed for visitors, and my house was far from presentable. There were Christmas boxes scattered everywhere, and I had just dropped a coffee cup, leaving broken pieces all over the kitchen floor. Needless to say, I wasn’t in a state to entertain anyone.

When they rang the doorbell, I chose not to answer. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate their visit, but the timing caught me completely off guard. Had I known they were coming, I would’ve had time to change clothes, tidy up the living room and prepare myself to receive guests.

Now I’m feeling guilty and wondering if I was wrong not to answer the door. Should I have let them in, despite the chaos and my discomfort? What’s the polite way to handle unexpected visitors when you simply aren’t ready for company? — Feeling Awkward

Dear Feeling Awkward: You were absolutely not wrong to prioritize your comfort and well-being. Managing unexpected visitors can be challenging, especially when you’re dealing with mobility issues and weren’t prepared. It’s completely understandable that you chose not to answer the door in that moment.

A kind way to handle this in the future might be to call or message the visitors later, thanking them for stopping by and explaining that it wasn’t a good time. Most people will understand and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Remember, it’s OK to set boundaries and take care of yourself first; you don’t need to feel guilty for that.

Dear Annie: I am struggling with how to handle this situation. My husband and I have been married for 44 years, and we have one son who is married with a grandson. Five years ago, we decided to move closer to our son’s family to be near our grandson. However, once or twice a year, my husband reminds me that I “ruined his life” by forcing him to move. He accuses me of being selfish for wanting to be closer to our grandson.

Adding to this, my husband strongly dislikes our son’s mother-in-law, which he has made very clear to me. He refuses to attend holiday dinners if she will be there. Our daughter-in-law is unaware of his feelings about her mother. This situation has left me constantly worrying about whether my husband will attend our grandson’s sports activities or events if the other grandmother is present.

I’m exhausted from the stress of managing this ongoing conflict. It’s reached the point where I’m seriously considering divorce, as I no longer want to live with this constant tension and misery.

Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated. — Thinking of Divorce

Dear Thinking: I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy emotional burden for a long time. Your feelings matter, and you deserve to feel peace and happiness in your life. Speak openly with your husband about your feelings.

In addition, seek a well-trained marriage therapist to address these issues together. A trusted therapist can also help you explore your feelings and options in a safe, supportive space. Whatever path you choose, please know you’re not alone, and there is hope for a more fulfilling future.