Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 9 years younger than I am, and when we got married, we each brought three children into our blended family. For the past two years, I was the primary caregiver for my mother after she had a stroke. Even before that, I spent a significant amount of my time caring for my elderly parents.

My husband has always had his own hobbies and keeps busy with work. He had always said he understood and supported me in devoting so much time to my parents, especially since our youngest child is now almost 17. I thought we had an understanding and that we were on solid ground.

Recently, however, he told me something that completely devastated me: He said he has never loved me. Hearing those words broke me.

On top of that, I’ve discovered that he has been calling another woman multiple times a day, sitting with her at ball games and spending time with her in ways that feel very intimate. When I confronted him, he denied that this was the reason he wanted a divorce and claimed he’s done nothing wrong. He also refuses to work on our marriage and doesn’t even seem interested in having a conversation about it.

I’m tired of the lies and the betrayal, but at the same time, I still love him. I don’t know how to reconcile those feelings or what to do next. How do I move forward from this? Do I keep fighting for our marriage, even though he has checked out? Or is it time to let go, even though I don’t feel ready to give up on him?

I feel so lost and confused. Any advice or insight would be deeply appreciated. — Lost and Confused

Dear Lost and Confused: This is an incredibly difficult situation, and I’m so sorry that your husband has put you through it. Of course you feel hurt and betrayed. From what you’ve shared, you sound like an amazing daughter and wife, and you absolutely do not deserve this kind of treatment.

That said, it’s clear that your husband has made his choice. If he is unwilling to work on the marriage, as painful as it is, you may need to grant him the divorce and focus on yourself. Remember, the best way to move forward is to live well.

Take care of yourself — physically, emotionally and mentally. Surround yourself with friends and family who love and support you, and give yourself time and space to heal. It will hurt now, but in the long run, you’ll likely find peace and happiness outside of a relationship with someone who has shown themselves to be selfish and uncaring.