Dear Annie: My husband, “Mark,” and I have been married for eight years, and we have a good relationship. We’ve always butt heads a little bit about his mother, but recently we have started really clashing over her. She’s always been a little overbearing, but lately, it feels like she’s trying to control our lives. She’ll drop by unannounced, criticize how we’re raising our two kids and even question how we spend our money. Last week she dropped in when our daughter was on the iPad (we set screen time limits for her), and she went on for 45 minutes about how bad screens are for children.

I’ve tried to set boundaries, but Mark doesn’t back me up. He says it’s just how she is and that I should let it go. It seems to just roll off his back. I don’t want to cause a rift, but her constant interference is making me resent her — and him.

How can I address this without creating even more tension? — Feeling Stuck

Dear Feeling Stuck: Start by explaining to Mark how much his mother’s comments are getting to you. He might not realize the extent to which her unsolicited advice is bothering you. With him on your side, you can both be on guard to nip her comments in the bud and quickly change the subject.

If that doesn’t work, then you might need to sit down with her and have a direct conversation about how her comments are not just unhelpful but detrimental to your relationship with her.

Dear Annie: I am 64. As a child and teenager, my grandmother used to complain about me not sending thank you notes, like many of your readers today have experienced. During my pre-teen, teenage and young adult years, I would make handmade gifts for each set of my grandparents. A lot of thought, planning and time went into each gift, which included things like hand-embroidered pillowcases, aprons, ceramics, tree ornaments, etc. Call me harsh, but I told my mother, “Grandmother has never written me a thank you note, and I gave her a gift. I will start writing when she does!”

I read these complaints in your column and wonder how many grandchildren feel now as I did then. — 64-year-old Grandmother

Dear Grandmother: Thank you for your letter and a very interesting perspective on this popular topic! Young people are expected to write thank you notes as a way of showing respect for their elders and putting their manners to work. But the truth is, gratitude is a two-way street. No matter your age and no matter the gift, it always feels good to be acknowledged and appreciated for it. Your letter serves as a good reminder of that.